General Paralysis of Seafarers

Maenwhiles oever en de lant uff det Vikkkings, werk ver goeingen onne apaece.  Mogens the Hatchetet-Armed assjaembled a mighghty crew of stalled warts, inklueding Rufus the Boeld, starr of maeny a ruff-hoose, Rufus the Redd, Rufus the Off-Koelour, Karlo Uppenhaemmer, Bembo Frjikkenbotty the Gay, Justin Kaiserjarl the Cjentre-Fjorward, Utterlej Maddening Hakkenovski the teenage telephone-pole jumper whose cardigans were ljegendjary, Shagger O’Murphy met his Entourage of Shaggees, these fjormed but a small sjelection of whoresmen and oarsons mjaking up the krew of Mogens the Mighty-Armed.

And so it vas that the daring band bjegan to assjemble the Longen-Boote sjent oever bi ParcellenPostit vrom Skottlant’s misty magical shores in smallish pieces for serf-assjembly, instruktionios non inclusivo and in Chinese languages ONO. Sjeverall smallish skrews ver missink, in order to drive the Vikkkings yet more berserker than ever, speziale vith eau de vie, eau de toiletto njetvithztandinger.

Fjinally the Langenbooete vas raeady.  Out of Ejsberg sailed the proud galley, to shouts of “Hooray!”,  “Awa ya Raj!” and “Funny shaepe fer en booote?”, turned to the West, turned to the North-by- Nor-Nor East, turned to the South…..?????

All oever Europe, there were no lights to go out.

Some months ljater, as the Vikkkings left the smoking ruins of Madagascar behind and the smell of burning cinammon sank sloewly into the horizon, where Mogens the UniBrachial had dumped his cigar, the Laedy Sanne murmurred in a hussxky voice….”Errr, Mogens, oeld chaeppie, doe you think that GPS thingie is werking properly?”